Glasgow Neds

Next Sunday I'm going to Glasgow. I already went there with my brother right after we arrived to Scotland, but we only visited the cathedral, the graveyard and we drove around the city to get a quick view of it. That day it did not look like a dangerous city, it just wasn't the prettiest city of the world.

Now that I've been around Scotland for some months I've heard very spooky stuff about Glasgow. Everybody says it is a very dangerous city and that their inhabitants are like an army of vandals. I didn't think it is that bad, but then somebody explained me the 'ned' concept. I've been told it stands for Non-Educated Delinquent and that Glasgow is like their sanctuary, they all go there to breed and receive their giro's. This weekend I'm planning to actually walk and visit the city centre, so I probably I'll see some of the pure Glasgow neds. What I'm most afraid of is that I don't understand a single word of the gibberish neds speak, so if one of them wants to speak with me I'll be doomed.

It is true that Edinburgh has its own neds, but I've been explained that they are wannabe neds, they just copy what they see from the Glasgow neds. For those who are from outside Scotland a ned is the English equivalent to a chav (word derived from the gipsy language and similar to the Spanish chaval) , to the Spanish quinqui or to the Catalan killo, with the difference that killo's are Spanish immigrants and neds, chavs and quinquis are natives.

For those who have never been to Scotland I recommend the web page http://www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk/, a hilarious and very scientific approach to nedology. I've learnt a lot of thing about neds from this web page, for example now I instantly recognise a ned when I'm walking down the street, so I can change of side.

Here you have a video of two fighting neds on the street after a football game where Scotland... won!


And for those who don't know what a killo is I present you a parody from a tv show where an actor makes fun of them by imitating one: